A Developer's Song

Love Song
The Developer's Song for Project Managers and Consultants
(Sing to the tune of Celine Dion's Because You Loved Me)

Because You Told Me

For all the bugs I had to fix
For all those hours spent after six
For all those specs I had to read
For every thing you made me speed
For every change you made me do
For every time you blamed me too
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who worked me up
Never let me go
You're the one who pushed me through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I did everything I did,
Because you told me

You gave me timelines that made me cry
I had no choice but to tell you lies
I lost my mind, you brought it back to me
You said no client was out of reach
You stood by me, I took the fall
I used your plan for toilet roll
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I did everything because you told me to

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I did everything I did,
Because you told me

I did everything I did,
Because you told me...

This one goes to those 'special developers'  - we just want to say 'Adoh'
Adoh! (sung to the tune of 'Hello' by Lionel Richie)

I've been testing this issue
With my mind
And in my dreams you’ve fixed this bug
A thousand times
I sometimes see you
Pass outside my floor

Yes it’s you I’m looking for!
I can see it in your code
I can see it using TOAD
A fix is all I've wanted
But you’ve made the thing implode
Because you should know just what to fix
But you’re up to your old tricks
And I want to tell you so much
PLEASE fix issue 16006

I long to see the CR accepted over there
And I tell you time and time again
How much Tony cares
Sometimes I feel my head will just explode

This CR has to go
Sometimes I wonder where you are
And I wonder what the hell you do
Are you somewhere feeling crazy?
Or is someone coding for you?
Tell me how to make you work
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying; build CR 222

Love marriage Vs. Arranged marriage :) LOL

Happiness and Marriage
Love Marriage

Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to  movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a  dynamic system and difficult to  maintain.

Family system hangs because  hardware (called parents) is not responding.

You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking ! food, washing clothes etc.

Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

Love Marriage is like Windows , beautiful n seductive.... Yet  one never knows when it will crash....

Arranged Marriage

Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement  the main program. The functions  can be added or deleted.

Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible

Compatible with hardware  (Parents).

You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they    are responsible for successful   execution of project Married life.

All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!

Arranged Marriage is like   Unix... boring n colorless...  still extremely reliable n robust.

Send this to your Boss

Its Okay to Manage Your Boss: The Step-by-Step Program for Making the Best of Your Most Important Relationship at Work
Hi Boss,

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes.

People who do less work...
make less mistakes.

People who do no work...
make no mistakes.

People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted.

That's why I spend most of my time
sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.

Wife VERSUS girlfriend ( thats too funny )

Hot Wives, Volume 1
A Wife is like a TV
A Girlfriend is like a MOBILE

At home you watch TV, but when you go out you take your MOBILE
When you have no money, you sell the TV and when you have got money you change your MOBILE

Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time you play with your MOBILE
TV is free for life, but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old! But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable

Operational costs for the TV are often acceptable, but for the MOBILE it is often high and demanding

TV has a remote, MOBILE doesn't

MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen),but with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)

Most Importantly:
TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILEs often do.