Men VS. Women

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah .
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes .

EATING OUT

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32 . 50 . None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back .
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators .  

MONEY

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs .
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale .

BATHROOMS

• A man has seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, shampoo and a towel . . .
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337 . A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items .

ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument .
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument .

FUTURE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband .
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife .

SUCCESS

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend .
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man .

MARRIAGE

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't .
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does .

DRESSING UP

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail .
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals .

NATURAL

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed .
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night .

OFFSPRING

• Ah, children . A woman knows all about her children . She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams .
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house .

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes . There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!