What is needed - a good spanking.

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, without intimation. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 'Hello ?'

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

'Yes,' whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, 'No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?' 'Yes'

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, 'No'

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

'Yes,' whispered the child, 'a policeman.'

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

'No, he's busy,' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

'Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman,' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

'A helicopter' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, 'The search team just landed a helicopter'

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
 


'ME.'

SARDAR RETURNS (All new)

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar: Miss, u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".
(Had never thought of it)

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

USED vs. LOVED

USED vs. LOVED

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.
In anger, the man took the child's hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....

with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;

he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.
Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.

The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:

Things are to be used and people are to be loved.

The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Smart Wife

Is your wife smart Enough ? Read below:
Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart
Your husband
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.
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items...........
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart

Sardar Ji.... from India

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .                                                               

Sardar was fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined a new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue you've broken.
Sardar: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Sardar: You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to you..
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ......
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was the same king's skeleton when he was a child.

The difference between COMPLETE & FINISH.......

Lesson for today --- The difference between COMPLETE & FINISH...
 
People say there is no difference between
COMPLETE & FINISH...
But there is!
When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.....
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.....
And when the "right one" catches you with the "wrong one",
you are .....

COMPLETELY FINISHED